These People Tested the Internet’s Patience With Their Stupidity

A few things are certain in life: death, taxes, and people making stupid decisions. We understand that the NYC subway wanted to make the place feel safer, but is removing all of the benches really the best they could think of? Any New Yorker knows that riding the subway can be quite the experience, and thanks to the clever minds behind the NYC subway system, it’s now also become more difficult. 

Wow, we can’t believe we never noticed that Delta and Omicron mixed together spell media control. Just kidding – we can definitely believe it. This guy over here is taking conspiracy levels to a new extreme. Should we be concerned? We don’t think that “hidden messages” are gonna win you this argument, pal. Nice try, though. We will give you points for creativity. But at the end of the day, “erotic almond” won our love.

Jesse here has a solid plan. Because that’s why you would need a gun – to take over a plane and get your sick son to Italy for treatment – not, let’s say, for self-defense. Out of all the options out there, we can’t believe this is the argument he came up with. A child could come up with better arguments for gun ownership than Jesse. Less is more, especially when trying to get a message across. We have a feeling Jesse has been watching too many action movies.

This person was trying to write their college thesis on why vaccines are bad. But when they couldn’t find a single scholarly source inside the school library that supported that thesis, they thought it best to ask the internet for help. This is just a thought, but maybe if you can’t find any research backing your thesis then you need to rethink your entire thesis… Just saying. No offense to this student but if you searched deep already, we doubt random people on Facebook will be able to give you what you want.

We would love to know what this girl’s boyfriend did to earn five fully paid scholarships. Or maybe he lied and got zero scholarships? Don’t come for us, it’s just a theory. But if it’s true, it seems like a waste to turn down that kind of opportunity just to stay in the same place as your girlfriend. We think this girlfriend needs to trade her rose-tinted glasses for some very clear, high-prescription glasses before her boyfriend turns down any more scholarships.

On a more serious note, this kid is amazing, and it’s truly heartbreaking that he is selling hand-made keychains to get his classmates out of their lunch debt at school. But also shout out to him: Some of us can hardly draw a stick figure, let alone make our own homemade keychains. Not all heroes wear capes for sure. Also, while some of us are still struggling to understand the bank system, this 8-year-old kid is a full-on business entrepreneur. 

What would we do without this person who just informed us data from facial recognition technology is being sent to the government? Oh, we must take a moment to appreciate the irony of using social media to enlighten us about how the government stalks us when social media also acts as Big Brother. Should we break the news to them, or nah? You know what they say, ignorance is bliss. But, really, has this person been living under a rock – what do they think about surveillance cameras and electronic registers and reports?

According to this person, having access to healthcare and other necessities for free means America is about to be destroyed by Satan. Listen, if Satan wants to shower us with free things and determine it’s on the house, then Satan is our new best friend. We sure aren’t going to say no to free things! And if that’s wrong, we don’t want to be right. Sue us. Okay, fine, we don’t actually want to be besties with Satan. But this person’s post has got us all sorts of confused. Are we the only ones?

Regardless of where you stand on the topic of vaccinations, we can probably all agree this person just got told – big time. Not that we should judge people by their past actions, but this person’s got a point when they say “You did meth. I think you will survive the vaccine.” Clearly, their friend’s body has gone through much worse than a COVID vaccine and come through on the other side. 

Someone call some help for this guy. Honestly, we feel bad for John that he thinks a father giving his son a kiss on the cheek is an “inappropriate” interaction. If this picture makes him uncomfortable, what else does he deem questionable? A hug?! We can’t help but wonder what he considers as a “normal” father/son interaction if this isn’t one. Luckily, we have Jeff here tweeting back to remind parents not to raise kids like John.

Apparently, this picture was taken at an anti-immigration protest. And if you’re wondering where it happened, it was in the United States of America. We wouldn’t blame you for asking since this bunch is clearly not waving the flag of the US of A. As our Twitter pal here pointed out, this group of protestors is holding flags of a country that literally doesn’t exist. That flag was defeated back in 1865.

The second-hand embarrassment we get from reading this is real. It’s just so cringe-inducing. If these are the young minds of the future, we are scared. On a lighter note, if you can ignore the abomination that is the grammar of that status, this guy does raise an interesting question: Do flat-earthers also believe that the rest of the planets are flat, too? How far does their flat conspiracy go? 

Quote of the day: “Trust your Cells, not science.” Sadly, our cells don’t produce knowledge or answers. They are busy doing other things, like making sure we stay alive. This dude would know that if he brushed up on some Biology. Okay, okay, so it was probably a typo. We’re guessing this guy meant to write, “Trust yourself, not science.” But either way, he set himself up to be roasted. And we’re clearly not the only ones who think so.

The level of stupidity is on a whole other level here. But we’re sure grateful this entire situation went down because Mr. My Lamp Never Arrived had the best response ever to Tom asking him for pictures of the product he never received. Just look at it: the dissatisfied customer sent not one, not two, not three, but five entire pictures of his hand holding… nothing. He truly committed to the cause.

Fun Fact: After the success of the McDonald’s quarter-pound burger, A&W tried to capitalize on the success and introduced a third-pound burger, which is bigger than a quarter. But despite it having more meat for your buck, the third quarter-pound failed because Americans believed the opposite! We know that math is not everyone’s strong suit but it’s hard to ignore the fact that 0.33 is literally bigger than 0.25.

We are offended for Alaska that people forget or don’t know that it’s actually part of the United States. But the most shocking part of this status is not that this person thinks Alaska is a different country, but that this person has lived 54 years as an American citizen and still doesn’t know that Alaska is part of the U.S. We wonder if that provides enough ground to revoke his/her citizenship?

According to this guy, if masks were necessary, evolution would’ve already jumped on that and created humans born with masks rather than noses and mouths. With that logic, we can’t help but wonder: What about glasses? Why haven’t we evolved those – some of us do deem those as necessary for our survival, you know, in order to see and all. This seems like a pretty creative argument against masks, but it falls short. 

If we are cold, we don’t put on just one glove or wear only one boot. And the same pretty much applies to masks – for them to be effective they need to cover your mouth and nose. Not just your mouth or just your nose. It’s not a difficult concept to grasp, and yet, it seems that so many people either don’t understand it or simply don’t care. Plus, there are so many benefits to wearing it properly.

This guy’s got a point: How come people seem to be okay with not understanding the things scientists are doing up in space, like when NASA lands a rover on Mars, yet as soon as they can’t understand something scientists do on Earth, they become convinced it’s a lie? Now that we think about it, it doesn’t seem like a very logical way of thinking about science and the people who work in it.

We have the feeling that this person was posting a rhetorical question when they said Earth is 4,000 years old and added “Change my mind.” We mean, he posted a statement that goes against most scientific theory in a group called “Against Science.” Something tells us whoever wrote this was not expecting someone to actually answer. Or, at least, they didn’t expect someone to answer and prove them wrong. Too bad that’s exactly what happened.

Ah, yes, the hots every woman gets for every man she’s on a first-name basis with. From now on, we’ll be sure to avoid calling any man we know by his first name. You know, just to make sure that we aren’t cheating on our boyfriends. According to this logic, every girlfriend out there is cheating on her boyfriend if they call another man by their first name. We’re afraid to know what the rest of the article entails.

If you are a millennial, it is hard to grasp that people born in the early 2000s are fully functional adults now. It makes us feel old. But there is no need to skip a few years and say that people born in 2003 are already 23 years old. Remember the dude who thought Alaska was a separate country from the United States? Well, maybe he and the writer of this post can become friends, considering the latter thinks Arizona is a separate country, too.

It’s just awkward when people make up economic theories and get called out on the internet. Awkward and magical and funny, all at the same time. And it doesn’t take opening a textbook to know that this logic isn’t right – just look at the states that already have a higher minimum wage. As Brian so nicely pointed out, Taco Bell prices are still nice and affordable there, too.

The last time we checked, getting sick isn’t optional. “I can’t get Covid because I don’t believe in it” is, unfortunately, not how it works. A lot less of us would be getting sick if that was the case, and we could have groundbreaking research into the power of wishful thinking. That’s not how immunity works. You can’t will yourself to be covid free with the use of your thoughts alone.

City-dwellers know the deal: expensive rent that has you living paycheck to paycheck yet the bank won’t trust you with a mortgage lower than said expensive rent. Please, someone, make it make sense. And this ridiculousness doesn’t end outside of the city, of course. Sometimes it feels like our banks took different math classes than the rest of us in school, doesn’t it? The truth is, the math just isn’t mathing.

This is more fun than stupid. It’s an honest mistake for someone bilingual to think that “Soy Chorizo” means “I am Chorizo” and not a chorizo made of soy. Sometimes you see what you want to see, even though the package does say “vegetarian” on it. But if this guy’s only crime was a simple misunderstanding, then he’s doing much better than other people on this list. Perhaps this sausage company should change their advertising, though. 

Were all the problems in the world solved, and we didn’t get the memo? Because that’s the only thing that would explain Newsmax’s headline – if the media ran out of news to report. What about crime, world hunger, or student debt? Nope, that’s not important or worthy of our time, guess we’ll resort to attacking the President’s innocent dog instead, they said! And that poor dog did nothing wrong. His only crime is being so darn cute.

Can you imagine getting fired for giving leftovers to the homeless? People like this person’s boss are all that is wrong with the world. The writer of this dodged a bullet with this one after getting fired because who wants to work for such a heartless boss? “Kindness, in my store? – not on my watch!”. When will employers realize that treating employees and customers with respect and kindness will benefit their business? 

Do you ever wonder how some people make it through life when they lack basic knowledge about it? Maybe we should give this person the benefit of the doubt, and they just don’t know what “ancestors” means? Why else would they want to find out whether they’re related to their ancestors? Or maybe they are trolling us. Sigh, or maybe this person just needs a biology crash course. Or at the very least, censor themselves on Facebook.

The schooling going on in this post is just overwhelming. This person pointed out that minimum wage isn’t enough to live off of, and therefore that’s not what it’s meant for. But things got awkward when someone else pointed out that, actually, that’s exactly what minimum wage means: it’s supposed to provide the minimum amount of money needed for a person to have all of their – and their family’s – basic needs.

The people who end up saying the stupidest things are the ones that think they are the smartest, wittiest in the room. They then proceed to share their genius ideas with the world with some big status for everyone to see, like they are doing us all a favor by bestowing their knowledge on us. Instead, they bestow us with entertainment and we get to enjoy humorous exchanges like these. 

This guy who thought a thermometer was a pregnancy test is just a piece of internet gold. Imagine if thermometers actually acted as pregnancy tests? Like, “you are 100% pregnant! congratulations!”  Better yet, what if they also acted as ultrasounds:  “It’s a girl because F stands for female!” It’s just too easy to roast this guy. Such an easy target. We are willing to bet this guy was never able to live this down.

“Don’t help others until you have no problems of your own to solve!”  That’s what this not-so-kind commenter is really saying: System Of a Down should be ashamed for donating a million dollars to Armenia and not to the USA, their own country. But the best part of all was when this person found out that their comment was irrelevant because the System Of a Down band members are apparently Armenian! Oh, the twists and turns of Facebook.

No kidding, Nestle! Yes, slavery reportings may hurt your business. Most likely. We’re sorry? Did we go back in time to the 1800s? Did Nestle not get the memo that slavery ended a couple of hundred years ago? Hate to break it to you, but paying employees is actually more expensive than using slaves. Shocking, we know. Guess what they told us isn’t true and Nestle doesn’t, in fact, make “the very best.”

Have you heard? Sunscreen causes cancer! Just like taking an Advil will make you sick! Or sleeping will make you tired! She uploaded her sunburn-like she was showing off a new look or something, like “check out my newest look, I call it Red Hot and it’s the newest trend. I got it from THE SUN.” We are a little concerned by the number of likes she got on this post but at least one person encouraged her to apply sunscreen.

Imagine sitting in history class, opening your textbook, only to find Yoda, the Jedi master from “Star Wars,” sitting next to Saudi Arabia’s King Faisal. To this day, it remains unclear how this picture ended up in the book and managed to escape attention until it was too late. This must go down as one of the funniest and most embarrassing mistakes in history. Surely, someone paid for it and was immediately fired.

Isn’t it awkward when someone thinks a restaurant owes them money and, really, it’s the other way around? That’s what happened to Beth when she gave a $100 dollar bill fr her $47.20 meal and got back $53. Beth actually gained 20 cents from this transaction but instead accused the restaurant of robbing her of 80 cents. Oh, Beth. Even if she was right, and they owned her 80 cents, it doesn’t seem something so tragic that it’s worth posting over.

“International conglomerate hires international superstars to make sure you support a local business that directly competes with everything that is international.” Sounds about…. wrong? But celebrity endorsements aren’t anything new. In fact, we have witnessed some pretty strange celeb endorsements. Like when a 64-year-old Bob Dylan starred in a commercial for Victoria’s Secret, or the time Penelope Cruise dressed up as Mario for a Nintendo 3DS? We can’t believe these exist.

If Abraham Lincoln were alive to see this, we have no doubt he would strongly resent this. However, sad as this may be, it isn’t surprising. Our teachers really need a raise (this entire article illustrates this), but this one takes the cake. Your president does not, in fact, “live here” because the “here” you are talking about is the Lincoln Memorial on the 5-dollar-bill. The presidents live in the White House.

This person here is all talk and no walk. Some people are so out of touch and tone-deaf, that we wonder if they even live on the same planet as us. Maybe some men really are from Mars. It sounds like this person here thinks that they can just make the virus go away by willing it to happen with their status, which seems to be a recurring theme in these posts.